Heritage Christian Center Newspaper

The Love Cure

heritagenews@hccweb.org — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 05:00:00 GMT

No matter how beautiful we are, we struggle with heartaches. No matter how rich we are, we all have burdens in our lives. We all suffer from a myriad of temptations and bad habits. Someone might look all put together on the outside, but that doesn't mean they're not struggling with debilitating issues on the inside.

You’re All That!!

heritagenews@hccweb.org — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 05:00:00 GMT

Believing the best in people usually brings the best out of people. So the question is…do you believe the best in others?

Child Obesity – Becoming a Nationwide Epidemic (Connor McCreaddie)

heritagenews@hccweb.org — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 05:00:00 GMT

There was a feature story on the news today that caught my attention. It was about a Mother who may lose custody of her 8-year-old son because he weighs 218 pounds.
The mother, who feared she might lose custody of her obese 8-year-old son unless he lost weight, was allowed to keep the boy after striking a deal with social workers to safeguard his welfare.

The case has set off a national debate over child obesity and raised questions about whether genetics, junk food or bad parenting is to blame. Connor McCreaddie, of Wallsend, northeastern England, weighs four times the weight of a healthy child his age.

The boy's case attracted national attention after his mother allowed an ITV News crew to film his day-to-day life over the course of a month. When he was 2 1/2 years old, he was too heavy for his mother to pick up, and at 5, he weighed more than 126 pounds. Now McCreaddie, who is tall for his age at 5 feet, wears adult clothes and size eight shoes, the newspaper said.

"He'll hover around the kitchen for food. He'll continually go in the fridge," McKeown said about her son. "I just keep telling him to get out of the fridge, wait until meal times and stuff. But at the end of the day he was born hungry. He has always been hungry." "Bacon. Mmmm... That's my favorite. Um ... chicken, steak, (and) sausage," the boy told the camera.

Childhood obesity is of particular concern because it greatly increases the risks of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, skeletal disorders, and strokes. Certain cancers are also associated with obesity, and obese children have a higher chance of premature death.

Several genetic conditions also contribute to obesity, such as Prader-Willis syndrome, a rare disease characterized by excessive appetite, problems in the central nervous system, and a low IQ.

Another rare genetic disease, Bradet-Biedl syndrome, can lead to problems such as vision loss, obesity, and being born with extra fingers and toes. Obesity and diabetes used to be seen as middle-age problems, but now we're seeing more and more children with both problems.

Have you ever met a child who has better eating habits than their parents? Parents are, hands down, the biggest influence on their kids. They need to be good role models. I heard a quote that said, 'What you say will speak to your kids. What you do will scream to them.' "

Government data show two-thirds of U.S. adults are overweight or obese. One-third of children and teens — about 25 million kids — are overweight or on the brink of becoming so. All are at an increased risk of developing diabetes, high cholesterol and other health problems.

Everyone needs to be aware that the deck is stacked against children for having a healthy weight. Our society is set up to have our kids grow up overweight, which is why we need to be vigilant. The figures keep coming out, pummeling us with the fact that our kids weigh too much.

Some families don't seem to know how to plan and make healthful meals. This is a generation of young parents who may have grown up on a lot of high-calorie take-out food, processed snacks and few fruits and vegetables. If they grew up that way, those are the eating habits they're going to teach their kids.

All of us need to do something about it. When it comes to this issue, we cannot put a Band-Aid on it anymore. Busy parents often don't make the time to feed their children healthful foods. We need to rearrange priorities. You can't have “no time” to feed the kids.

So what's to be done?" Start by looking at what your children are drinking. The first point of attack is beverages — always, always, always. They typically don't drink enough water or milk, and their diets are low in calcium. Most are drinking a lot of soda and other sugary drinks. The calories they get from sugary drinks, and its often 500 calories or more a day...just by cutting those out, they can lose a pound a week.

Other problems: too much "grazing," too many packaged foods and fast foods, not enough fruits and vegetables, few structured meals.

Some have mothers and fathers who don't want to say "no" to them when it comes to food or TV and computer time. A parent needs to determine how much time their child is just “sitting”, inactive, in front of a TV or computer. And parents, don’t allow your kids to just go and grab a bag of chips any ole time they want. You need to set the structure and you need to say “no!”.

The good thing about making healthful changes at home is that it can help the children who have a weight problem and it doesn't hurt the others. If you have healthy food in the house, the thin child won't melt away. They'll eat more, and they'll improve their nutritional intake.

To make better meals, parents will have to plan ahead and go to the grocery store regularly to buy healthful ingredients. When you don't plan, you'll fail. I'm in no way minimizing how difficult it is to take the time to make meals and plan snacks. But it's worth it. And there are plenty of good shortcuts: packaged salads, cut-up vegetables and fruit, roasted chicken, ready-to-eat fish and meat.

Making an effort to help your child eat right is an investment in their health, now and decades down the road.

100 Best Diet Tips Ever

heritagenews@hccweb.org — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 05:00:00 GMT

I can only handle one diet change right now. What should I do?

The Destructive Romance Cycle…when and how do we get into trouble?

heritagenews@hccweb.org — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 06:00:00 GMT

Love and relationships can be a tangled knot for all of us. We strive to do our best, yet often find ourselves with love relationships that are less than fulfilling, broken, or downright destructive. What are some factors that lie within us that contribute to our difficulties?

It is well known that our life experiences can shape us in ways both conscious and at a level that operates within us as assumptive thinking and belief. Perhaps you find yourself moving from one relationship to another, or practicing “Serial Monogamy” in a series of highly intense relationships or marriages that always seem to end sourly and painfully. Are you asking yourself, “How come I seem to always attract people into my life who hurt me?”

You may be caught up in what we term “The Destructive Romance Cycle.”

Ask yourself if any of these characteristics would describe you or your behavior. Do you experience or have you had some of the following characteristics in your life:

· Lack of nurturing and attention when young

· Feeling isolated, detached from parents and family

· Outer facade of "having it all together" to hide internal disintegration

· Mistaking intensity for intimacy

· Hidden Pain

· Seeking to avoid rejection and abandonment at all cost

· Afraid to trust anyone in a relationship

· Inner rage over lack of nurturing, early abandonment

· Depressed

· Highly manipulative and controlling of others

· Perceive attraction, attachment, and sex as basic human needs, on a par with food and water

· Sense of worthlessness

· Escalating tolerance for high-risk behavior

· Intense need to control self, others, circumstances

· Presence of other addictive or compulsive problems

· Insatiable appetite in an area of difficulty

· Using others to alter your mood or relieve pain

· Continual questioning of values and lifestyle

· Driven, desperate, frantic personality

· Existence of secret "double life"

· Refusal to acknowledge existence of problems

· Defining out-of-control behavior as normal

· Defining "wants" as "needs"

If you answered yes to more than 4 of these, you may be subject to engaging in the Destructive Romance cycle. Look at the chart below. It describes the progression of relationships that arise when we are functioning out of the characteristics we just looked at. See if this pattern fits you in a general way, or in some specifics of your experiences. We begin at Obsession and go through the various stages in succession, ending in Promises. Then we repeat the cycle the next time with another person, or the same person. Each time we hope for a different result but end up in the same place wondering “What Happened?”

The Destructive ROMANCE Cycle

Phase 1: OBSESSION

There is a Physical or emotional “trigger.” Thoughts, plots, plans, and schemes and romantic attraction fantasies about the other person consume us. We experience loss of concentration, and our judgment is impaired.

Phase 2: THE HUNT

We are driven to find relief from the emotional turmoil. We seek out someone or something, anything!

We pass the point of no return.

Phase 3: RECRUITMENT

We are in action, generating movement to resolve the pain. We engage in enlistment, enticement, seduction, and high risk sexual or acting out behaviors.

Phase 3: GRATIFICATION

The object of hunt is attained. The other person steps into our desired role. We experience the thrill of conquest. The result is victimization of other party.

Phase 4: RETURN TO NORMAL

We briefly feel calm and peaceful. Our “Love Switch” is turned off and we think we have successfully altered our mood.

Phase 5: JUSTIFICATION

Our internal pain resurfaces. We engage in rationalizations, using depersonalizations of our victim to avoid looking at our emptiness and selfish choices.

Phase 6: BLAME

We focus on own past neglect or abuse by others. We refuse to accept responsibility for the situation, and lay problem at another’s feet, either our victim or those who hurt us.

Phase7: SHAME

We experience that our blaming seems inadequate to rectify our pain or the damage to others. We have horror at own actions.

What ask, “What sort of person must I be?” We deny and stuff feelings, which results in shame, believing “I am a mistake.”

Phase 8: DESPAIR

We move through cycles of elation followed by depression. Unable to stop, we come to a point of utter despair. We resolve to “fix” what is broken.

Phase 9: PROMISES

We say to ourselves, “Never again!” We make a list of promises to ourselves, and almost immediately experience the fear of breaking those promises. Inevitably, we return to start of cycle.

So, what is the bottom line? If you have seen yourself, or your romantic partner in these descriptions, you may be suffering from a condition that requires the healing hand of the Lord. A personal relationship with Jesus, learning to live in greater accordance with His Word, and the helping hands of other people are crucial to overcoming these patterns and beliefs. Allowing these three things into your life will open the door for the healing, fulfillment, love, joy, and peace that you are seeking.

Call us at Heritage Christian Center. Ask to speak to the Celebrate Recovery Office. We would be delighted to walk with you on your journey into healing and happiness. For more information, please contact us at 303-369-8514 ext. 1645

Transformed by Love – Love Will Change Us

heritagenews@hccweb.org — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 06:00:00 GMT

As we grow up in Christ we learn that love is selfless. We learn that less self in our motives equals more love in our actions. We come to know that love does not consider its own rights, is not proud, nor does it get offended. We learn that if we can walk in love, our entire life will change—and that if only a few more of us walked in love, the entire world would change. Love begins when we purpose to be the first to lay down our rights, our selfish motives, and our pride. Love requires each one of us to lay down our lives.

We also learn as we walk the path of love, that as soon as we take the first step, we are immediately tested! Sometimes the people who test us the most are those we love the most. They seem to know how best to get under our skin. And we want to be valued and respected most by those closest to us—certainly more than people we don’t know so well or care so deeply about. As we grow in love, we find that we must lay down our lives—and our pride—most completely in our own homes. When we are “at home” we tend to let down our guard and fall into old, childish patterns of selfishness. Our true level of maturity is revealed where our inner child is most likely to appear—around the hearth.

Perhaps we need to protect our hearths as much as we do our hearts! In Proverbs 4:23 we are told to “guard your heart above all else for it determines the course of your life (nlt). I like how The Message puts it:

Keep vigilant watch over your heart;
that’s where life starts.
Don’t talk out of both sides of your mouth;
avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip.

Proverbs 4:23,24

After we are told to keep watch over our heart, the very next statement tells us how: avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip. They are heart issues. And where we need to watch ourselves most is when relaxing in the comfort and familiarity of our homes—around our own hearths. Imagine if everything you said in the privacy of your home determined the course of your life! Practice being disciplined with your thoughts and words on the home front and it will be much easier to think and speak lovingly at church and on the job. Develop the habit of speaking kindly and you will find that falling into the “pride of life” in other areas will become less of a habit.

Pride: The Enemy of Love

The reason some people have such a hard time forgiving others is because they have grown accustomed to slipping into the pride of life. They have learned to put on the pride of life instead of putting on love. Their minds say, “I can’t believe they did that to me after all I have done for them.” Forgiveness is a fruit of love, and like love, it grows through cultivating holiness in our hearts—wholesome habits of the heart. We must constantly prune away the negative tendencies or our minds—taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (see 2 Corinthians 10:5).

Let me say it this way: forgiveness is not a matter of desire; it is a matter of obedience. I may desire to be obedient to God’s will because I want to walk in the favor of God, but it is still a choice of my will and not a matter of how I feel. I don’t forgive you because I want to; I forgive you so God will forgive me. I forgive you so I can walk in love because I know love heals, love restores, love brings life. If I can’t forgive, I will never learn to love unconditionally—I will never learn to truly love and get along with myself. That’s the crux of it right there. Sometimes loving others is simply a matter of loving and forgiving our own selves.

We work against ourselves when we are caught up in pride. Pride is not only divisive interpersonally, but intra-personally as well. When I am ruled by pride, my heart is divided. Does my heart belong to God or my self-will? Am I acting in God’s interest or my own? A house divided will not stand. There is no room for love when pride is present. Pride pushes out all love. Pride will blind you from the truth. Pride will keep you from seeing, let alone admitting, that you are wrong. When was the last time you told someone you were sorry? When was the last time you asked for forgiveness?

Pride will isolate you. Pride will cause you to withdraw until you find yourself trapped in a jail of self-pity. Set yourself free from that prison by expressing love. How can you love yourself if you can’t show some love to other people? Pride will cause you to run from the people you need the most. It’s no wonder that God hates pride so much. Pride is the parent of strife, bitterness and unforgiveness. So when we choose to walk in love, it ends up being in our own best interest. When we walk in strife and division, it steals our health as well as our happiness.
The Secret to Happiness: Getting Along

When we walk in love it gives God the opportunity to move in our lives. How many know that life isn’t very much fun if you’re not getting along with others? Former President Teddy Roosevelt believed it was the secret to happiness. Most of us know that if you’re hard to get along with, you won’t have a very happy life.

That’s why Paul told us to pursue peace—in pursuing peace we find joy and contentment. Pursuing peace is also how we honor God. When we pursue strife and division we are honoring the prince of chaos and deception and dishonoring God. Strife is of the flesh, and love is of the spirit of Jesus Christ. The reason you keep gossiping about somebody at work is because you’re letting your flesh rule you. The reason you keep talking about the things that somebody did to you is because you still haven’t let it go—you have not let love rule in your heart.

There’s something about pride that causes us to talk about others behind their back. Jesus said, “Judge not, that you be not judged” (Matthew 7:1 esv). Someone may have even asked you to forgive them, but you won’t let it go because your pride won’t let it go. It’s pride that’s keeping your marriage from being healed. It’s unforgiveness that’s stopping the flow of love in your life. It’s stopping your miracle. It’s stopping your breakthrough, and you’ll never be happy until you just let it go. If you want God to use your life for His glory, you have to humble yourself. You have to lower yourself so He can raise you up. God can’t bless anybody that’s high and mighty. You have to get down so He can raise you up.

Before you gave your life to the Lord, you could not forgive people that hurt you, but now that the Greater One lives inside you, you have the strength to forgive and you have the strength to overlook every offense in your life. When you are leaning on the Lord, you can forgive. When you are leaning on the Lord, you can let it go. When you are leaning on the Lord, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

Love is all that really matters. We need to steer clear of religious legalism. People get so confused about what is righteous. The Bible says that God is love. Jesus said that love fulfills all of the law. He said, “If you’ve seen Me, you’ve seen the Father” (John 14:9). You’ve seen that God’s not trying to knock you in the head; He’s trying to help you because He loves you. If He loved you when you were ignorant of His love, how much more will He love you when you receive His love and openly love Him in return? There will always be an absence of love in this world and that is why the Lord came into it—to bring light, love, and healing. The truth of the matter is love will heal you faster than anything in your life.

Perhaps that is why God commands us to focus on love. Love is our best hope for healing our hearts, our communities, and our nation. God wants us to learn to care more about others than we do ourselves. We must discipline our flesh to walk in love like we discipline our minds to learn. We must exercise our love like we do our muscles. While the flesh wants to get even, love lets others get ahead. Love lets traffic get in front of you. Love surrenders the parking space. Love picks up the neighbor’s trash who ran over your petunias.

Don’t ever underestimate the power of love. It will put a family back together when nothing else can. It will heal you when nothing else can. Jesus was love made flesh as much as He was the Word made flesh. He went from commanding all of heaven’s armies to sleeping in a manger. Why would He do such a thing? Because that’s what love does—love gives, love puts others first. Love will change your life. Love will change the world. By Dennis Leonard